I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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