He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
