you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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