I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
