He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
