Got a toothbrush?
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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