Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize