..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
