I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
