her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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