I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
4 words: hood of his car
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
