remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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