Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
