one two three fourrrrnication!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize