i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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