my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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