I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
