My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
