He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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