If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
