No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Green mimosas i think yes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
