...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
