nut hugger
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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