Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
