i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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