Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
