shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
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