I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
