Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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