hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
