Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
