make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
