some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
