she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
