I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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