i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
