your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
