I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
