Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
