what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
