It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize