I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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