I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
