The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
