Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
