Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
