Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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