Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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