We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize