My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
