i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
