it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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