I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
