3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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