and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
