I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
