I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
