I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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