apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If I die, sorry about rent.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
