So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
