hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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