clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she pinky promised me she was 18
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
